Starfall from Rhys's POV
by siri writes
Summary: She was a goddess, a goddamn goddess. As I stared at that face that I cherished so much, I fell in love, over and over again. Fell in love so irrevocably that I knew there was no going back. I would never, ever love someone as much as I did her.


Starfall from Rhys's POV:

I glanced around the large hall to where I saw Azriel and Cassian talking to some of their friends that dwelled within this beautiful city. I gazed at the sky where the stars gazed back, their twinkling eyes meeting mine as they lay within their own blanket of darkness. The joyful music echoed through the hall and bounced off the walls and drifted into my ears. It was music that spoke the language of joy and love. Music that showed the beauty in living and simply _being._ The light emanating from the crystal chandelier above me reflected off the pale walls, creating an earthly glow throughout the room.

Last year had been my first Starfall for fifty years where I did not have to service- No. I had promised I would not think of those years where I had not been able to see the stars making their journey to wherever they wished to roam. How they shot across the sky with freedom glistening brightly in their veins and a sense of adventure in their hearts. For these stars were not merely stars. They were spirits of some sort. Spirits that lessened year by year, but still remained to guide me. During those years, the thought that had kept me going was the vision of the open night sky. How their quiet beauty guided all those travelling in the wrong direction. How it had beauty if you knew where to look, but from a distance it looked menacing and like a task that could never be conquered.

This starfall especially was one of joy. For Feyre had finally come to my court and started to accept both me and my court for who we were. My mate had come. The word echoed through my body, filling my heart with quiet hope and love and the fact that this beautiful female who had no idea of her worth had come into my life and saved me. _Mate. _

Yet only two days ago, she had called me a mess. Who would argue with her? Yes, I was the supposedly all-powerful High Lord of the Night Court, yet this female could make me weak in the knees with one single sentence. She had no idea of the power she wielded. With just one sentence, she wounded me enough that I had neither seen nor talked to her for two days, though my instincts had roared at me to speak to her. Her attempts at creating peace between us had been flattering enough that even though I had not been planning to attend this starfall celebration, some voice inside me had told me to go and enjoy the opportunity to spend time with my mate, possibly dance with her.

The simple thought that I may get to hold her in my arms and sway to the joyous music with her for even one dance was enough to make me start smiling like an idiot. I heard a bright chirping behind me and turned to see Mor standing there with her arms crossed and glaring at me. Mor knew more than she let on, and I knew she had immediately known when Feyre and I had fought. My cousin spoke, "Are you going to mope here all night? Stop feeling sorry for yourself and go and speak to her!" I looked in the direction in which my cousin was pointing, and my heart stopped beating.

She wore that beautiful crystal, pale-blue dress that my mother had lovingly woven 400 years ago, and which shimmered and glittered with every step she took. She wore those cuffs of pure diamonds around her slender wrists that I had purchased secretly two weeks ago in preparation for starfall. Her golden-brown hair gleamed under the light of the chandelier and was swept up by two, golden combs which were shaped like Illyrian wings. The dress perfectly accentuated each of her curves. Where pure skin and bone had been months ago, now stood fat in just the right places which made her radiate grace and beauty. Her lips were lightly painted red, and a slight smile graced her lips at something someone beside her had said. Her beautiful blue-grey eyes twinkled as they lit up with joy, and my heart filled to the point of pain. I started loving her all over again, that endless affection I had for her overflowing from my heart. I took the moment to simply drink her in from where I stood.

I slowly strode towards her, not entirely conscious of my movements that were fuelled by overwhelming love. As I advanced towards them, I recognised that it was Mor chatting with Feyre, and I smiled slightly at the discussion they were having.

"-and it's irritated him for centuries that I never looked back," Mor said.

"Oh, it drives him insane," I intercepted. Feyre jumped slightly when she heard my voice from behind her. I circled her, and the smirk came easily to my lips. "You look like a woman again," I commented.

"You really do know how to complement females, cousin," she said as she saw a friend in the distance and strode off to meet her.

I saw Feyre casually examine my clean-cut black suit, which was casually unbuttoned at the top to reveal the crisp, white shirt beneath it, which was also unbuttoned to show off a portion of my toned chest. I saw Feyre look and attempt to look away while absolutely failing. It provided me with a sense of male satisfaction that she found me attractive and had a difficult time keeping her eyes off me.

"Do you plan to ignore me some more?" She coolly asked.

"I'm here now aren't I? I wouldn't want you to call me a hateful coward again," for she had. She had called me that and much more two days ago, when both of us had gone too far. I saw a glimpse of guilt in her eyes and immediately felt the need to remove any trace of sadness from her. "I wasn't punishing you. I just… I needed time."

She quickly changed the subject and I could tell she did not want to have this conversation right here. "Will you please tell me what this… gathering is about?" Again, that curiosity. Even in her worst days after Under the Mountain, she had still retained that curious mind and had suffered because she had a lack of information. Because Tamlin had not deemed her either worthy or important enough to share information with her, and it had almost destroyed her from within.

I stepped up behind her shoulder and leaned as close as a lover and whispered in her ear, "look up," I said.

She looked up and I saw her eyes widen with amazement before developing a small gleam in her eye. "No speech for your guests?"

"Tonight, is not about me," I replied. I added on as a sidenote, "though my presence is appreciated and noted." I spied a star spirit in the distance and pointed at it while still remaining close to her. "Tonight, is about that." The star shot across the sky leaving a starry trail in its' wake. The crowd around me and the city below me erupted into applause and raised their glasses to the star and drank only when the star had passed. Feyre leaned into me, before realising what she had done and quickly stepping away. Suddenly a whole stream of stars shot across the sky and Feyre lighted up with wonder. My own eyes were alight with joy as I stared at those stars. No matter how many times I had ever witnessed this spectacular display, I was still as amazed as the first time I had seen this. People started dancing around us and the music restarted with renewed energy. I saw Mor dancing between Azriel and Cassian with her hands raised in the air and her head tilted towards the sky. I looked at them with sadness. I had finally reunited with them after 50 years, but the threat of war loomed in the distance.

I saw Feyre glance back at me and spied the understanding in her eyes. Before she could comment, I said, "Come, there's a better view. More quieter." I lead her through the hall onto one of the many balconies jutting out from the palace. When we arrived at the balcony she sat on the rail, but immediately decided against it once she saw the distance to the ground. "You know I would bother to save you before you hit the ground."

"But not until I was close to death?" She asked.

"Maybe," was my only reply.

"As punishment for what I said to you?"

"I said some horrible things too." Yes, we had both said terrible things to each other.

"I didn't mean it," she blurted out. "I meant it more about myself than you. I'm sorry."

"You were right though," I replied. "I stayed away because you were right. Though I'm glad to hear my absence felt like a punishment."

She smiled and went silent again. I wished she would let down her shields and let me into that beautiful brain of hers. I longed to know what she thought about in those moments she went quiet. "Any news with the orbs or the queens?" She asked.

"No. we're still waiting for them to deign to reply." They likely would not reply for a good while, simply to prove that they too held power.

"They're not stars at all," she murmured. The wonder in her voice as she gazed at the bright lights that flew across the sky was apparent. And I loved her for it. I loved the burning curiosity that she often his deep within her. I loved that part of her. I loved every single, damn part of her, and it ate me alive. That bastard had realised that she was worth more than the whole universe. He had known that the brightest and most precious gems didn't hold a candle to the amount of beauty she possessed.

"No," I answered her as I went to stand beside her at the rail. "Our ancestors thought they were, but… they're just spirits, on a yearly migration to somewhere. Why they pick this day to appear here, no one knows."

I just looked at her, taking in her beauty. She sensed my gaze and turned to face me. Our eyes connected for a moment too long. "There must be hundreds of them." She said that like she was attempting to break the silence that had sprung up between us when we had locked eyes. She said it as if it was an effort to _not _look at me. I had known that she found me attractive. That had been her very first thought that fateful day on Calanmai when I had first laid eyes on her. But I was slowly beginning to realise that perhaps there was some part of her that actually desired it. Desired me.

"Thousands. They'll keep coming until dawn. Or, I hope they will. There were less and less of them the last time I witnessed Starfall."

I realised how truly long ago that had been. Fifty years. Every year on Starfall, the thoughts of the beautiful sky above me had been what had kept me sane, but now it was an effort to take my eyes off the female in front of to even look at the ablaze sky.

"What happened to them?" She asked. Again, that curiosity that I loved so much.

I simply shrugged and said, "I wish I knew, but they keep coming back despite it."

"Why?"

"Why does anything cling to something? Maybe they love wherever they're going so much that it's worth it. Maybe they'll keep coming back, until there's only one star left. Maybe that one star will make the trip forever, out of the hope that someday-if it keeps coming back often enough-another star will find it again." It was reminiscent with my feelings for Feyre. I had only just begun to let that small hope that she may finally be returning a fraction of what I felt towards her.

"That's… a very sad thought."

"Indeed." I rested my forearms on the balcony, close enough for her to touch if she wanted to. The silence that lingered after my statement was apparent. There were still too many unspoken words between us. But now was not the time for those. I felt the need to share what had happened to me Under the Mountain with her. I had not told any of my friends, for fear that their guilt that they had not been able to save me, threatened to swallow them whole. But… I felt like I could tell Feyre. I felt like I could tell her what had happened, and I knew she would not judge me for my decisions. She was the only one who truly understood me.

So, I told her. "Every year that I was Under the Mountain and Starfall came around, Amarantha made sure I… serviced her. The entire night. Starfall is no secret, even to outsiders- even the Court of Nightmares crawls out of the Hewn City to look up at the sky. So she knew… She knew what it meant to me." I felt a sudden surge of anger through the bond.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"I got through it by reminding myself that my friends were safe; that Velaris was safe. Nothing else mattered, so long as I had that. She could use my body however she wanted. I didn't care"

"So why aren't you down there with them?" She asked, jerking her chin towards where Mor, Az and Cass were dancing amongst the starlight.

"They don't know-what she did to me on Starfall. I don't want it to ruin their night."

"I don't think they would. I think they'd be happy if you let them shoulder the burden." I knew they would. I knew that they would be more than willing to hear what had happened. But maybe it wasn't so much that they wouldn't listen. Maybe it was more of the fact that I did not want to offer up that broken part of me to them. They would never turn me away. But they would never truly understand. But Feyre, she did. She understood because she had been there. She had been in that wretched place and had seen the monstrosities that had occurred there.

But I answered her, perhaps a bit defensively. "The same way you rely on others to shoulder your burdens?" I did not mind that she did one bit. But perhaps these were one of those unspoken remnants from our argument that needed to be voiced.

Her fingers grazed mine, and I stilled at that touch. I waited to see what more she would do. What she allowed. She turned to face me properly when pale, green light slammed into her face. She bent over as she cried out in surprise. And I laughed. For the first time in so long I laughed.

She turned to face me with fury in her blue-grey eyes. "I could've been blinded!" She yelled at me. I took one more look at her face and truly laughed. It was a sound that I had not made in so long. She wiped her face and looked down at the pale, green light strewn across her hand.

She reached up to her face to rub the star-spirit off her face, but I caught her hand. "Don't, it looks like your freckles are glowing." Her nostrils flared and she went to shove me off the balcony with that beautiful anger. I sidestepped her but in the process was hit with my own star. "Shit," I yelled as I leaned back in surprise. I was about to say more when I heard the most amazing sound I had ever heard. I looked back at her in amazement to see if what I had heard was true. She was laughing. She was actually laughing. She laughed again and again as she stared at my face. And it was the best music in the world. No sound in the universe could compare to the sound of her brilliant laugh.

I forced myself to look down at my star-strewn hands as I heard her approach me. She took my hand in hers and slowly drew a star. She played with the light and dark until it looked exactly like one of the stars that had hit us both. I tightened my hands around hers as I smiled at her. I let that mask completely drop. I let the mask of the High Lord of the Night Court completely drop. She looked up at me smiling and smiled herself. My mouth dropped open as I stared at this female in front of me. The smile completely vanished as I stared at her with my mouth open. Her own smile vanished but I couldn't stand it.

"Smile again," I said. And so, she did. She gave me a smile so brilliant that even the stars above weren't that bright. She was a goddess, a goddamn goddess. As I stared at that face that I cherished so much, I fell in love, over and over again. Fell in love so irrevocably that I knew there was no going back. I would never, ever love someone as much as I did her. My heart would never hurt and ache for someone as much as it did for her. For this queen among all females that stood before me. "You're exquisite," I breathed.

She did not step back, did not shy away from my presence. Instead she said, "you owe me two thoughts- back from when I first came here. Tell me what you're thinking."

I rubbed my neck with my free hand. "You want to know why I didn't speak or see you? Because I was so convinced that you'd throw me out on my ass." I dragged a hand through my raven hair. "I just… I figured hiding was a better alternative."

"Who would've thought that the High Lord of the Night Court could be afraid of an illiterate human?" She purred. I grinned at the teasing and nudged her playfully with my shoulder. "That's one, tell me another thought."

Cauldron damn my traitorous eyes. They fell upon her full lips as I said, "I'm wishing that I could take back that kiss from Under the Mountain."

"Why?"

I looked down at her hand instead of her face, partly because I was still ashamed about how I had acted that day. It had been to save her, but, "because I didn't make it pleasant for you. And I was jealous and pissed off and I knew you hated me." This was extremely dangerous territory. One wrong word from either of us, and we could break this fragile thing between us. I instead looked at her face again. I wanted her. And I was tired of hiding it. As I looked at her, I let that hunger show. But she was echoing the same feeling. My expression was mirrored on her face.

"Do you- do you want to dance with me?" She asked in a tentative voice. I stared at her, and I could feel the beginnings of tears lining my eyes.

I was near silent as I whispered, "you want to dance?"

"Down there. With them." She nodded towards where my friends were still dancing. Where everything was alive.

"Of course, I'll dance with you." The idea that I wouldn't if she truly desired it so abhorrent that I had to reassure her how truly willing I was. "All night if you wish."

"Even if I step on your toes?" I smiled at the ridiculous insecurity she showed.

"Even then," I whispered back. And cauldron, I knew it was reckless, but I did it anyway. I leaned in to brush my lips against her cheek, savouring the minor touch between us. I smiled at her as she looked up. "I am very glad I met you, Feyre."

She tugged on my hand, pulling me towards where music and light beckoned. "Come on," she said. "Let's go join the dance." I could've sworn I saw small tears forming in her eyes as well.

Dance we did. Feyre danced with Cassian and Mor, even with Azriel. I drank rich wine with Mor, argued with Cassian and laughed with Azriel about Cassian and Mors antics. When the music had turned slower and quieter, I had taken Feyre into my arms and swayed with her to the beat of the music. All the other guests had long since left and Cass, Mor and Az were half passed out, but still, Feyre and I danced. At some point she had leaned my her against my chest as we slowly danced. I was so tempted, at the moment, to tell her that it was more than just a bargain bond between us. But I did not want to ruin the moment. It was undoubtedly the best day I had ever experienced.

When she had begun to grow tired, I had taken her into my arms, holding her closer to my body than usual as we flew amongst the city lights back to the townhouse. We were both silent, simply basking in each other's presence. When I had dropped her off at her room, I had kissed her forehead and had retreated back into my room.

I had lain in my gigantic bed, simply thinking. I fell asleep, realising that though it may not compare to the unending love and passion I felt for her, she had begun to return at least a fraction of what I felt.

I fell into the land of blissful oblivion, my sleep permeated with dreams of happiness and love.


End file.
